Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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