She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
