she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
