I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
