I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
