They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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