She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
