I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
