We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
