Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
zippers are such a cool invention
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
