question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
