Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
