Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
