This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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