Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
