my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
