i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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