Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
