oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
