Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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