im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
