I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
