This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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