Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
