i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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