I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
