Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you would pick up someone in the library
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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