how can u be prego again
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
