So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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