There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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