Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
