Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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