Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
