all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
