waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I have post one night stand depression
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