I want to have your abortion
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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