I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just want to make out with him forever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
