Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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