Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
