Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
