if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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