I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
