my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
