This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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