Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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