So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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