But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was confusing and full of hummus
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
