MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
