no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
