Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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