shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
